You're so damn beautiful.

Yesterday I had an appointment with my therapist/social worker at 11, and in the same clinic, an appointment with my psychiatrist at 1:50. Needless to say, I had a huge gap between appointments so I sat around, got lost in the hospital/complex paced around outside and then decided to wait inside because it was cold.

As I was sitting there, in the lobby outside the clinic I go to, the receptionist guy was leaving for his lunch. He stops and says "I just have to tell you, you're so damn beautiful. You're the most beautiful girl. I mean--everytime you come in here, damn."

It took me by surprise but I smiled and said "Thanks!" liked I'd never heard it before, which I have, but it still surprises me when I do.

Also, awkwardly enough, a guy I used to sleep with years ago (who has a very loveable bullmastiff dog and is the roughest sex I've ever had [minus the guy who raped me]), saw me enter the building. I heard "Sarah!" but I convinced myself someone had just said "Sir!" so I kept walking. But then when I was sitting in the waiting room, Bullmastiff suddenly appeared standing in front of me. He is about 6' or 6'1, pretty ordinarily handsome looking and has blond hair and the lightest blue eyes. I didn't recognize him at first.

I first met him online probably before I was even 18. So I've known him six years? Five maybe? He had this bihawk thing going on [See Ill. 1], his bridge pierced twice, rode a motorcycle and was extremely terrifying. But women like bad men, blablabla. Anyway, when I saw him yesterday He's taken his piercings out, he had a completely normal short haircut, cleanshaven and was wearing an EMT uniform. WTF?

It was awkard. When I'm put in awkward situations, I often get really quiet and I just stared at him dumbly and kept asking how he was doing. He kept asking how it was living in the city again, what was I doing with my time, etc. and I gave him vague answers that I think sort of made him laugh at me.

He gives off this attitude (whether it's intentional or not, I have no idea) that all my problems would be fixed if I slept with him again. It's not that he isn't good in bed, but he has a very unique sexual style. I'll explain more in a later post, I'm sure. He has a huge dick and I even have stories specifically about the size of his dick. But I'm honestly not a fan of big penises, and I'm guessing he doesn't run into girls like me all that often.

Anyone else a fan of smaller penises? Probably, it's just me.


Illustration 1.